Finding Peace within the Pain

Thought for the Day: There is no need for me to accept blame for another person’s irrational actions. I will deal only with my short comings which are within my control. I will pray with love that God opens all of our eyes so we recognize our true needs.

Two and a half years ago I made a life altering decision to choose happiness. Life as I knew it stopped; a new one began.  I tried to re-wire my brain to stop obsessing over the needs and behaviors of others. This decision was not made out of narcissism but out of desperation to become healthy and happy. For the most part, it worked. I am stronger, healthier, and more self-sufficient than ever before.  I am a better example for my children and other loved ones.

However, over the last six months I have struggled. I have learned that love is rarely reciprocated in the manner that you wish. This is true because no one has walked in your shoes or lived your life to understand your basic needs – no matter how much you open your heart. This is also true because we tend to romanticize situations in the hopes our wishes will come true. We tolerate behavior and ignore suspicion for the sake of “trust.” We accept less than we deserve; perhaps because what we have is more than we have known before. We question if our expectations are realistic and our confidence erodes.

The fact is everyone has their own wishes, their own sets of needs, and their own sets of coping tools. What seems illogical to me is perfectly right to someone else. What seems moral and just to me is overly conservative to someone else. People make choices to leave us. A friend just buried his wife, the love of his life. And while none of us will ever understand the logic behind the choices that hurt us or the death of a beloved, we must believe in the blessings. We must give the hurt up to God. We must find peace and let go of what we cannot control. This mindset will open our hearts to the happiness that awaits us.

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